I can't quite focus on my precis. I came online here to see if he was online. Stupid of me to hope he would say "hi". He never talks on msn really. I suppose I'm not annoyed enough to kick myself for messaging him. I'll take the fact that he is no longer messaging me or emailing me as a sign that he doesn't want to be together again enough to do them. So fine. This is for the best. What would I say anyways if he did? It's probably good we haven't talked much. He's probably very busy. Aren't I as well? Yes. Busy but very, very distracted.
I can happily say it's that time of the month, so phew. I was just worrying last night. I did not go to French class today. Didn't bother. Probably nothing important will happen. I need to work on my precis. Got more books today! Plus, I reserved two tickets for Saturday night to the show I need to see. Hurrah! I'm also going to need to borrow 20 bucks from one of the rents. Grrr. Oh well.
Oh, wait. Here's another thing... I went in and looked in his email (because I know his password) and snooped. I should be ashamed, I know. But there was an email from his mom saying she would get him a plane ticket and a ticket to the arcade expo. The plane ticket for Christmas and the ticket for the expo for his birthday which is in January. Where is he going?! Some arcade expo. Probably too caught up with school and that to think of me. Why is it that I want him to think of me? Only because I am thinking of him still! Fuck, and to think I broke it off. This is bullshit. Why do I allow myself to be ridiculous?!
He has no time for me anymore and I should have no time for him either. But he's still on my mind. Fuck. I went through this before. Is this phase really necessary?!