Boy oh boy, today was dramatic. It was one of those days where I felt like I was falling apart... again! It was one step forward, three friggin' steps back. I miss classes so often! However, I feel "safe" and that my marks are pretty decent.
How did today start? Well I was actually on time with everything! I could have left and taken the bus and made it to the subway station on time and class on time, but noooo... I decided "Hey, why not take the car? Then I can come home right after class." I meant to skip my linguistics class because I wanted to come home and chill and order my spring rolls that I wanted to bring to my last class of the day. We had our "end of the year" feast. Anyways, the point is that when I got to the subway station, the parking lot was full! Fuck. I turned around out of there and decided to perhaps park somewhere else. So, I won't mention specifics on here but I parked at the parking lot of a big store. I was warned by a gentleman that I might get ticketed if it's there for longer than an hour. I thought "Okay, well I'll run late if I try to find another parking spot, but fine, I'll risk it." I left the premises... for three minutes! I decided I didn't want to risk it but when I got back, lo and behold a ticket was already on my windshield!!! What the?! Ugh. I am so disputing this case. Won't mention specifics, but I do think I have an excellent chance. And guess how much the ticket was for! Forty fuckin' dollars for less than five minutes! Ridiculous, ridiculous, ridiculous! I was so pissed. I ended up missing class. There was no way I'd make it on time at that point...
Next, I found someone who can take my shift!!! Hurray! She's a real sweet, nice girl and I met her on my first shift but I am so glad she can take my shift, means a lot to me! I hope I can repay her somehow... I think I know how, haha. But also, I hope I can take one of her shifts too so it's a fair trade. I hope this truly is taken care of. I don't want to find out that she can't take it because she was already scheduled for that day or anything...
Next week, I want to make it to ALL my classes and I want to make it to all my classes all the time next term. It is my dream, my goal!
Anyways, I ended up bringing spring rolls to class and ordering it was simple enough. Damn, I spent $51 for a party tray of them meanwhile people spent like $10 bringing in chips and soda and what not. I bet I spent the most! Ugh. Oh well. Too bad I can't cook then. I should learn how to make desserts!
I am now officially super broke. I don't even know how I will buy my subway/bus pass next week. Well I do. It's a $50 bill my dad gave me last Christmas. It's special and he said to keep it because in a few decades it would be very, very valuable. I don't want to spend it. But I have to. But, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to find someone, perhaps my aunt, and say "Want to give me $50 for now and you hold on to this. I will give you another 50 when I get my paycheque and then you give me back this bill." I also got my HUGE cell phone bill today. Thank God I have two jobs now. With Christmas break on the way, I think I will be able to make the money to pay for it. I really want to cancel it as well. Or go over the terms and go over EXACTLY how much I will be paying per month, all charges and fees included. They keep misinforming me! They said the use of phone cards to make long distance calls would work as it would on a regular phone - not! They said incoming calls from anywhere would count in the same way local calls would - not! Those damn bastards! Misinforming customers is the worst thing you can do!
Also, I want to see a play for this precis I am doing. I think my prof would be rather pleased if I used it as one of my sources. I don't know how to afford that, but now I know! He said they needed volunteers to run the merchandise stand and then you can see the show for free. I hope I can volunteer! And see the show before my precis is due on Wednesday. I am so busy now that I don't know if this is possible. But this saves me! Perhaps they need volunteers on Sunday and I can see the show Tuesday at the latest... Perhaps they need volunteers opening night and I can see the show the next day? That would be even better. I only work until 5:30 on Saturday I believe. I can make the evening show! Damn, I feel so busy. But this is okay. It makes me feel like I have a life.
My friend and I got in a mild argument today about this. I basically got annoyed with him being lazy and complaining so much. He said I don't understand and that a lot happens behind closed doors. Well, he seems like he's okay and hasn't been through any extreme trauma. Why is he such a bum?! I mean, in my eyes, and I'm sure the way many others see it as well, he is 21 years old, doesn't work, doesn't go to school, asks his mom for money when he goes out, has never held down a job for long enough, doesn't even drive! Well... what is going on here?! He is so picky and complains so much for someone who literally has no obligations or responsibilities! He complains about a commute being too long when everyday people commute twice that amount for school or work! He says "Ugh whatever, I guess I'll just take the job" as if he were a high-demand super intelligent valuable worker that top companies are vying to hire! I always tell him beggars can't be choosers and at this point, he begs from his mom still! Ugh. I can't stand that he is so prissy! But I will give him kudos for the following: He IS a good friend you can be honest with. He IS a fashionista and knows what looks good. He IS very good with hair and make-up and when he performs in drag as his alter ego, he is wonderful! I tell him to follow his passion: fashion, make-up, hair, drag. He should do it! He should make a career out of it. It's better than anything he is (not) doing at this point. He's not up to anything. I wonder how he stays home all day! He could be making money, volunteering, learning to drive. I don't know what his excuse is. But it's none of my business to tell others what to do with their lives. I guess it bugs me he does nothing because he always wants to go out and party. Does he think he just gets everything served free on a plate for him?! Keep dreaming. Your friends can't cover for you forever and neither can your momma! But ugh, I should back off. I know it hurts to hear the truth from a friend when they criticize you. And who knows? Maybe he has a valid "excuse" I'll never understand.
I also called my sort of ex-boyfriend today. I cried and told him I was so stressed and that I missed him. He said he missed me too and has been meaning to get in touch with me but that he has been so busy. I wondered how in the midst of our emotional turmoil he could still focus. I guess because his essays were due in a few hours! I have two major tests, one "meh" test, and one precis all due next week on top of two jobs. And no money. At least next Friday is pay day! At least next week is the last week of school. Alleluia. I knew I was falling apart when I called my sort of ex. We have only technically been broken up a week but I missed him terribly. I missed his shoulder to lean on. I wonder if he misses me too. He said he did. He still wants to be together I think. But I don't want to confuse my neediness and loneliness and missing him to mean that I should be with him. I need to learn not to turn to him when times get tough. He's not my boyfriend anymore and it won't be fair to need him like that when we are broken up technically and then treat him as just a friend. It doesn't feel right... Oh well, at least we are not angry at each other. I hope over the Holidays we do get to talk...
Plus, my period is umm... supposed to be coming up!!! If I don't get it by the end of next week, I am officially panicking! I am giving it until the end of next week, otherwise I'm going to have to make a very, very paranoid trip to the drug store. Has it been more than 28 days?! Am I just irregular because I was on the pill for a few days and then decided to stop? I used to be okay on the pill like two years ago but I had lost some weight since then and when I tried to go back on it it's made me feel sick. I hope the condom did not break on us!!! This has never happened before! Grrr... I hope this is just me being very, very paranoid. I don't "feel" pregnant. But let's give it a week.
Anyways, I better go. I have homework. I feel tired.