Drained and Confused

My head hurts. My eyes hurt. This morning, I thought I felt sick, but going to work made my sickness go away. I have work in the morning at the call centre. I hope I am off at 2! I need to do homework. I should probably quit one of my jobs. If Cody doesn't reply to me at all tonight, it's time to let go. The nouveau garcon is interesting. What am I needing, why am I needy? I want adventure. I want to be free. I want to be happy. I want to be organized. Argh, I could rip my hair out!!!

Interesting....

Things are turning so interesting, I don't know where to start. I feel dizzy, tired, annoyed, tense, happy and excited and nervous and anxious and like laughing. Life has taken quite a turn... into the unknown. I don't know what to think of now. There is much material for some rich analysis with girlfriends and gayfriends. To go on, not go on, or go on and go without? We'll see. But tee hee anyways. Giggles. It was nice. And maybe, as usual, inevitably awkward? But we've broken down a lot of that awkwardness now!

Reading Week

So now it's reading week. I hope to get a lot of school work done. But I know I have a busy week ahead. I feel stressed just thinking of this.

Know what? I miss him so much. I really miss Cody. I know I am struggling with this. I wish I could talk to him. I wish he would talk to me. I wish I knew what he was up to. I don't know why I miss him. I guess it's only natural. I guess I feel sad that maybe he doesn't miss me. But this isn't even so much about that. Whatever he's feeling, whatever he's up to, I miss him. I guess there's really nothing I can do. This is part of the process. I miss him a lot. I still refrain from talking to him whenever I see that he's online because I know that it's pointless and that he won't talk to me most likely. I don't know what he's thinking. I don't know why it matters. I guess I care. But I shouldn't. But I think of him so much! He's always on my mind. I genuinely miss him. I'll just have to deal with it I guess.